


Cookie Oneshots

by CookiAri



Category: Cookie Run (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Drunk Brothers, Gen, M/M, Multi, Temporary Character Death, idk if the angst is super heavy or not..?, pirate is a moron, siblings being siblings, thats up to yall i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-14 14:41:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16494578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CookiAri/pseuds/CookiAri
Summary: A bunch of random cookie oneshots, varying from idiotic pirate pranks to a very spooky citrus Halloween!More chapters coming soon, requests open!





	1. Pirates Never Die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Salt finds out that Pirate turns into a ghost after he dies. Subsequently, Pirate gives Salt the scare of his life.

Salt Cookie thought of his life as a never-ending journey. With his trusty boat fighting against the rough seas, harpoon in hand, and his loyal pet Lifesaver by his side, there was never a dull moment in this old man's life.

Which is why Salt thought of relaxation as a luxury; he never really had time to sit back and take a nap.

He was currently laying down on Pirate Cookie's bed, in his captain quarters, on his ship. Normally, Salt had a distaste for pirates, but this cookie seemed different. He met Pirate Cookie at a bar, where he seemed pretty adamant on recruiting Salt. In his words, they were "sure to find the Kingfish and loads of treasures" if they worked together.

Salt, at the time, seemed very suspicious of him. Lifesaver also made it incredibly clear he wasn't a fan of the pirate. However, he had quite a large boat, and an impressive armada. If he were to finally kill the Kingfish, Salt would need an impressive ship like Pirate's.

So, Salt agreed. And together, they began their journey for the Kingfish and loads of booty. At first, Salt was unsure of why Pirate specifically chose him. But when he boarded the ship, he noticied the distinct lack of a crew. Pirate was quick to explain how his old crew had betrayed him and stole plenty of his treasure, which was why Pirate needed someone brave and persistent like Salt to help him get his treasure back.

At first, Salt wanted to keep their relationship as strictly co-workers. Pirate would help Salt kill the Kingfish, and Salt would help Pirate find his treasures. That was all it should've been, just two seafaring old men working together. Nothing more.

Funny how that turned out.

It wasn't Salt's fault, Pirate was just so talkative, and they ended up having more in common than Salt had originally thought. They grew closer as their journey went on, to the point where they could be considered close friends.

Salt had even suspected Pirate was attatched to him in a not-so-friendly way, but that would be ridiculous.

Salt's thoughts were interrupted by what sounded like a great clamor on the deck. He sat up and looked towards the door, then at Lifesaver, who looked just as confused as he did. He jumped off the bed and pressed an ear to the door, when he heard Pirate shouting among the noise.

Salt Cookie furrowed his eyebrows in concern and called Lifesaver by his side. He opened the door and walked out of the Captain's Quarters and onto the deck...

...Only to find a very badly injured Pirate Cookie motionless on the ground.

Salt was taken aback, and looked around frantically to try and find any type of attacker. When he couldn't, he rushed to Pirate's side, with Lifesaver tailing him begrudgingly.

"...Pirate Cookie? By the name of Sea Fairy, what happened to you?!"

Pirate coughed and lifted his head ever so slightly to meet eyes with Salt. Salt grabbed his wrist to check for a pulse... Pirate still, thankfully, had a pulse, but it was unfortunately very faint.

"Aye... It be me old crew. A few of those dirty sea rats tried to plunder us, ye see, but Giggle Bomb and I scared 'em off..."

Pirate looked down at his wounds and gave a deep chuckle.

"...Not before they could get a few good hits on their old Captain, though. Aye, Saltie, it ain't lookin' too good for me. May be headin' to Davy Jone's Locker in a bit."

Salt was at a loss of what to do. There was  _no way_ he would just let Pirate die like this, but what else was there to do? He tried to stay as calm as he could, but he just felt...  _helpless._

"Pirate, I-I-"

"Ah, hush. Ya don't gotta worry 'bout me, ya salty sea dog. I'll make it out all-"

Pirate was interrupted by a bad coughing fit. Salt, unsure if he could do anything to save his friend, scooped up Pirate in his arms and tried to stop the bleeding. Pirate locked eyes with him and gave him a crooked, cocky smile before shutting his eyes.

Pirate remained still, and Salt's heart began to race. He gripped onto Pirate's body, and tears began to prick in the corners of his eyes. Pirate couldn't leave, he  _couldn't, he just couldn't leave him-_

Suddenly, Pirate's ghost shot out of his body, cackling madly. "KHE-HE-HE! Aye, Salts! Ya should've seen the look on yer face! Got ya good, didn't I? Ain't anyone ever tell ya pirates never die? KHE-HA-HA!"

* * *

"Aye, c'mon Saltie! Don't be like that. I said I was sorry!"

There Pirate was, standing outside the Captain's Quarters, practically begging Salt to unlock the door to his  _own_ room. Yes, Pirate could admit, Salt had the right to be upset at that little stunt he pulled. But come  _on,_ at least let him sleep in his own room tonight, Salt!

Pirate's pleas were met with silence. He  _knew_ Salt could hear him, and figured it was only a matter of time before he gave in and opened up. Pirate leaned against the door.

"Please, Salt? I swear I won't do it again! A pirate's promise!"

Silence.

"Aye, ya know ye can't give me the cold shoulder forever!"

Silence.

"...At least let me sleep here?"

Once again, silence.

Pirate sighed; he was fresh out of luck. Unless there was a way to unlock the door himself or otherwise get into the room...

Wait a second.

A few moments later, a certain pirate's ghost made his way through the door. He looked around the room and found Salt sitting on his bed, his back turned away from the door. In his arms was Lifesaver, who promptly turned around to shoot a death glare at Pirate.

"Ay, Salt! Guess locks don't work on ghosts, eh?" Pirate cackled.

Salt didn't acknowledge him in any way. It was as if Pirate wasn't even in the room. Pirate huffed and walked over towards his partner.

"Salts, c'mon, ya don't gotta be such a-"

"I thought you died."

Pirate froze. Salt didn't make any kind of move at all- he just spoke.

"I thought you died and I didn't know what to do, Pirate."

"E-er... I swear I didn't mean... I.. I-it was just a harmless prank, Saltie!"

"..."

Salt, while still holding Lifesaver, finally peered over his shoulder at Pirate. Pirate gave him a lopsided, nervous smile. Salt furrowed his eyebrows and turned away, causing Pirate to panic.

"A-aye! C'mon, ye salty sea dog! I didn't mean to make ya... I... Er..."

Pirate was at a loss of what to do. Of  _course_ he had to go and make his super attractive companion upset at him. What if Salt never forgave him? The very thought made Pirate's heart ache.  _God, how could he have been so stupid?_

"I-I... I swear on me mother's grave, Saltie, I didn't mean to upset ya! It was just supposed to be a harmless prank, that's all!"

Salt turned around again and locked eyes with Pirate.

"Do you honestly believe scaring me half to death is funny?"

Pirate felt his face heat up, and quickly broke the eye contact. "Er... Nay..." He mumbled sheepishly.

"Pirate, what you just put me through was far more terrifying than any storm I have ever been in. I genuinely thought I was about to lose you, I had no clue what to do, so  _what in the world was going through your head when you did that?"_

Pirate sucked in a deep breath, and tried not to wince at Salt's words. "I... Er... Giggle Bomb and I thought it'd be... funny... to pull a prank on ya. A-and we just wanted to see yer reaction, we just... Aye, I'm terribly sorry, Salt..."

Salt's face softened ever so slightly. He hated to see one of his closest companions look like he was on the verge of tears, but Salt was still indignant over Pirate's little prank. Finally, he decided to give in.

"Come here, Pirate."

Pirate looked up, not knowing if he was still in trouble or not. He searched Salt's face for any hints or clues, but found nothing. Not wanting to upset Salt further, Pirate shuffled towards him.

When Pirate was close enough, Salt attempted to hug him. It was in that moment he realized Pirate was still a ghost.

Pirate, once realizing he was somewhat out of hot water, laughed. "Khe-he-he! Gimme a sec, Saltie!"

He dashed out of the room, and in a few moments, he came back as a cookie once again. Salt had no clue how he did it, and found himself wanting to know and not wanting to know at the same time.

At this point, Lifesaver had left already, so there was nothing in Pirate's way. He took it upon himself to jump onto the bed and into Salt's arms. Salt, being the old man he is, gasped with surprise and slight pain.

"Be careful, Pirate. You almost killed  _me."_

"Khe-he-he! Sorry 'bout that, ya ol' salty sea dog."

And there they lay together, on Pirate's bed, with Salt's arms wrapped tigthly around Pirate's torso. Pirate snuggled deep into Salt's chest, and some of Pirate's hair got into Salt's face. He chuckled at this, and absentmindly began to run his fingers through his partner's hair.

And there they lay, in comfortable silence.

Until Salt spoke up, of course.

"Scare me like that again and I will not hesitate to throw you overboard."

"That's fair."

 


	2. Lost, Drunk Brothers and Alchemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alchemist has a hard time focusing on her work with Vampire gone. Vampire is also very good at getting lost.

It's awfully quiet.  
  
Alchemist had never quite realized how empty a mansion could feel when you were the only one inside of it. She had her brother to thank for that one- never a day without inconvenience living with him. Still, he was her only big brother. No amount of attempted murder through alchemy could change that.   
  
Ugh, I can't think about this now. I have to focus on this project!   
  
Yes, focus. That's exactly what she needed. Who cares about her loser brother? He could barely even stand up straight most of the time. Why waste thoughts on him when those thoughts could be put to greater use? Like a potion. Think about potions, Alchemist. Think about nothing but potions in your little potion corner.   
  
That's exactly what Alchemist did... For five minutes.   
  
She couldn't help it, the silence was killing her! Alchemist couldn't remember a time in her life where she worked without noise. Her brother was always in the background, probably drunk. ...Huh. Why is he out so late? He should be home by now.   
  
Eh, he can probably take care of himself. He may be a child in an adult cookie's body, if you asked Alchemist, but he could probably make it home mostly unscathed.   
  
Stop thinking about your brother, Alchemist. He's fine. He's drinking out at Sparkling's like always. Put on some background music, that'll probably help you focus.   
  
Right, music! Of course. She needed to find the perfect study tracks. She got up out of her little corner that she cooped herself up in and went to go find the perfect playlist.   
  
Eventually, she found her phone, and hooked it up to the mansion's speakers. Yes, the mansion was old, and Alchemist did find it strange that Vampire insisted on modern speakers in their very old and vintage mansion. Alchemist also found it strange of him to buy both of them smartphones... With her money. He was still in hot water with her for that one.   
  
Alchemist looked through her phone and found a playlist her brother had made for her a while back. She hadn't cared enough to open it before, and still didn't really care much now, but she was also suddenly curious to see what he thought she liked.   
  
Let's see... DJ Cookie? Ugh, that music is like an ear tumor. Rockstar Cookie? Not exactly study music. Carol Cookie? Maybe... But Halloween literally just ended. Mint Choco Cookie?   
  
...Wait, Vampire is a fan of Mint Choco Cookie?   
  
Alchemist wouldn't put the first two artists past her brother. She was a bit iffy on Carol, but Vampire was the type to play Christmas music in July. Mint Choco Cookie was a complete surprise, though. Hm. You learn something new every day, huh Alchemist?   
  
Alchemist didn't want to dawdle on the thought and absentmindly put a random Mint Choco song on. Wow, the guy made perfect study music.   
  
Alchemist made her way back to her little corner again and began to work. She was working at a steady pace now, and she was making great progress on her newest project!   
  
Until she got a sudden phone call, which interrupted her music.   
  
Ugh. She had just found her groove.   
  
Alchemist dragged herself over to the phone and checked to see who was calling. She wasn't suprised to see it was Sparkling. Time to go pick up her brother... Again.   
  
She answered the phone, despite not seeing a clear reason to. She already had all the information she needed: her brother was a drunken moron. End of story.   
  
"Hello, Sparkling?"   
  
"Yes, hi Alchemist! It's, er... Your brother again."   
  
Sigh. "I'll be there in five minutes to pick him up "   
  
"No, Alchemist. I'm, uh, afraid we've lost him."   
  
"...What?"   
  
"He isn't at the bar, and last time I saw him he was downing another glass of grape juice near the men's bathroom."   
  
"So... What you're saying is my drunk brother is probably wandering the streets. At night. Alone. Without a ride. By himself. Highly intoxicated. Alone. At night."   
  
"...Perhaps."   
  
Alchemist hung up and mentally prepared herself for a scavenger hunt.

* * *

The streets downtown were very unappealing to Alchemist, especially at night. But no matter- she was a woman on a mission, and she didn't care how many pedestrians she rudely pushed past.

She found herself walking past Sparkling's bar, a place she had a very apparent disdain for. It wasn't that Sparkling himself was a bad person, he was actually very polite and responsible! Alchemist just had... lots of bad experiences with that bar. Like the time the usher thought she was extremely underage and proceeded to ask her "where her mommy was" instead of letting her in. Or the time when she came to pick up Vampire and a random intoxicated patron thought her hair looked extremely tasty and helped himself to a bite.  
  
Honestly, Alchemist could think of a million examples. But none of them mattered, what mattered was getting her moronic brother home safe. And more likely than not, he was somewhere near the bar.   
  
So there Alchemist was, checking every possible place her brain dead brother could be. Alleyways, trash cans, bushes, trees, wine glasses, gasoline cans. Vampire could fit in surprisingly small spaces when he was both drunk and in his bat form, which never ceased to frustrate his sister. Just more places to look…

 

After about a half an hour, luck struck her in the form of a boneheaded older brother almost passed out in an alleyway three blocks away from Sparkling's bar.  
  
Alchemist heaved a heavy sigh as she approached her slightly conscious brother. Upon seeing his sister, with what little vision he had left, Vampire began to chuckle.   
  
"Alchy, you came for me!" He slurred. The nickname "Alchy" was incredibly drawn out though, sort of akin to "Aaaaaaalchyyyyyyyyyyy!"   
  
Alchemist said nothing; she simply knelt down and grabbed her brother by the hips. Vampire was incredibly light, which has never been a surprise to Alchemist. She lifted him up with ease and tossed him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. As she walked away with him, Vampire gave no protests at all. He was just simply mumbling something about his "sweet and adorable baby sister."   
  
As Alchemist walked, she promptly ignored all the strange looks her brother got the both of them. At this point in her life, she was used to her brother embarrassing her with his drunk antics. Eventually, she stopped caring. What's the point in caring, anyways? She couldn't change Vampire, no matter how much she'd like to, so not caring about what other people thought would seem like the most logical solution.   
  
After Alchemist let Sparkling know she had found him, she began to carry her brother all the way back to their mansion. About halfway along the way, she noticed Vampire fall sound asleep in her grip. Alchemist huffed. Looks like she'd have to put him to bed.  _Again._

Alchemist looked up at the sky and noticed how late it was. By the time she would get home, she probably wouldn't have any spare time for her work. Alchemist cussed under her breath, but in reality, it didn't actually bother her as much as one would think. Her brother's always gotten in the way of her work, she would probably just have to learn to live with it 


	3. Electric Motorcycles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kiwi takes Lemon for a ride. Lemon's pretty nervous, to say the least.

“You sure I'm doing this right?”

“C'mon, don't sweat it. You're doing great.”

“But I think-”

“Don't think, Lemon! Biking ain't about thinking. Biking's ‘bout reckless abandon- riding your heart out and living each day like it's your last!”

“...I'd rather not.”

There Lemon was, in front of Kiwi's garage, on his motorcycle, probably a few minutes away from crashing it. He had Kiwi's helmet secured on his head, and Kiwi was also standing right by his side to make sure he didn't fall. Safety first, after all.

“Y'know, I'm not too sure about this, actually.” Lemon said. He bit his lip and looked down at the ground, which seemed a lot farther away than it actually was.

“Aw, I thought you said you wanted to take her for a spin?”

That was before. And also at some party that Orange dragged him to. And also him meeting a stranger and trying to make small talk. And also him taking an incredibly fake interest in biking, but he wouldn't tell Kiwi that.

“Uh, actually… I was hoping _you'd_ be the one driving.” Lemon looked away and absentmindedly twiddled with his thumbs.

Kiwi stared at him and blinked. It was as if you could see the gears turning in his head. Finally, it seemed like he caught the hint.

“Ahhh, I gotcha. Gimme a sec.” Kiwi winked at him, then disappeared into his garage momentarily. While he was gone, Lemon took it upon himself to hop off the too-large-for-comfort motorcycle. It tilted slightly to the side when Lemon got off, which caused him to panic a bit and try and set the bike straight. When Kiwi came back outside, a different helmet secured tightly on his head, he looked at Lemon and chuckled.

"Careful with her, man. She's my baby." Kiwi sauntered to Lemon and his beloved motorcycle, and properly set "her" straight and upright. He then hopped onto the bike in one fell swoop and placed his hands onto the bike's handles.

Lemon stepped back in surprise at how smooth and casual Kiwi was, which is why it took him a second to realize that Kiwi was waiting for him to get on the motorcycle. So Lemon heaved a nervous sigh and climbed on, making a point to not wrap his arms around Kiwi and instead grip onto the seat.

Kiwi raised an eyebrow at this and peered at Lemon over his shoulder. He was looking away, carefully avoiding eye contact with the incredibly hot motorcyclist. Kiwi, however, wasn't as awkward as Lemon was. So of course he had no problem with grabbing Lemon's wrists one at a time and wrapping them around his waist.

"Safety first, man," Kiwi said nonchalantly. Lemon blushed and straightened his back. _O_ _h God. Oh God. Okay. Alright. This is fine. I'm fine. We're fine. Oh God, I might shock him. No, no, no, don't freak out, it's fine. You're fine, Lemon._

Lemon didn't say anything, he just nodded meekly. Kiwi smirked, faced forward, and seized the handles.

“Alright, I’ll try to go a bit slower than normal for you, just in case you ain’t used to my speed. Hold on tight, Lemon Boy.” That was the only warning Kiwi gave Lemon before taking off. Lemon was jarred by the sudden speed; “slower than normal” seemed to have different meanings between the two of them. Lemon buried his face in Kiwi’s back and tightly latched onto Kiwi’s torso. _Oh boy._

* * *

After a while, Lemon got used to the acceleration. That didn’t loosen his grip from Kiwi’s body, though. The ride was long and relaxing, although Lemon had absolutely no clue where Kiwi was taking him. Yet somehow, Lemon trusted him. It was abnormal for Lemon to trust people so quickly after meeting them, but something with Kiwi just… clicked. Lemon wasn’t used to this feeling, but he wasn’t exactly bothered by it. Not completely, at least.

“Earth to Lemon. We’ve reached our destination, buddy.”

_Oh. Okay._

Lemon peeked up from Kiwi’s back, where he had previously hid his face during the ride, and briefly looked around. They were parked up against a tree and appeared to be at some kind of summit. He abruptly realized that he was still firmly clutching Kiwi’s body, and released from him almost immediately.

“Uh, sorry.”

Kiwi laughed, but didn’t reply. Instead, he stepped off his motorcycle. Lemon followed suit, and also happened to catch Kiwi caress his motorcycle and give it a quick kiss. Strange, but Lemon wouldn’t judge the guy. The pair walked to a clearing and took a seat onto the ground. Lemon sat up, but Kiwi took it upon himself to lay back and relax.

Lemon looked up at the night sky. _Wait, when did it become night?_ Lemon could’ve sworn it was late afternoon when they first took off. Huh, must’ve been a long ride. Oh, well. Lemon lived in a small apartment by himself, so he doubted anyone would be at home waiting for him anyways. He looked at Kiwi over his shoulder and decided to lie down as well.

So there they were, stargazing in sweet silence. Lemon felt himself ease up. He realized at this moment that he never took the time to just sit down and take in life's beauty. Hm. Maybe he should go out more.

His thoughts were interrupted by Kiwi putting his arm around Lemon's shoulder and pulling him closer. Neither of them said anything, but Lemon could feel his face heat up.

Kiwi finally broke the silence. “Y'know, life on the road can get pretty lonely sometimes.”

Oh, Lemon knew lonely. Lemon knew lonely _very_ well. His entire _life_ was lonely, he had about 3 friends. So he was glad he found some common ground with Kiwi.

“Yeah… I know that feeling,” Lemon sighed. “It can be pretty tough, but… I like being lonely sometimes.”

Kiwi raised an eyebrow and turned to him. “You like being lonely?”

“Uh, well… Yeah, but like… I guess there's uh, there's not many… um, not many… other cookies who can, y'know… Um.” Lemon cursed at himself internally. _Just speak normally, for Millennial Tree’s sake, why can't you just say words good?_

Kiwi interrupted him. “Nah, nah. I get what you're tryna say. But, like… I personally think you should share moments like these with close friends. I don't really get that opportunity a lot.”

“Ah.” _How was Lemon supposed to respond? Oh, if only he was good at socializing like Orange… Orange would probably have Kiwi wrapped around her finger by now._

“...This is my favorite stargazing spot, y'know. I'm glad you're here with me for it.” Kiwi gave Lemon a cool and collected smile. Lemon bit his lip slightly and nodded, not knowing what to say.

After Kiwi realized that Lemon would certainly not make the first move, he decided to be the brave one and just go for it. He pulled a sharpie out of his helmet, grabbed Lemon's arm, and began writing something down.

Lemon was a bit confused at what Kiwi was doing and why he even _had_ a sharpie in his helmet and what he was even _writing,_ until Kiwi finally stood up and pulled Lemon to his feet with him. He hadn't even given him a chance to read what he wrote, but oh well.

“C'mon, let's go back. It's getting late.” Kiwi took Lemon's hand and led him back onto the motorcycle. He put his convenient sharpie back in his helmet, made sure Lemon was secure, and took off back home.

* * *

“Alright, Lemon Boy. You're home.”

Lemon opened his eyes and realized that Kiwi was parked right in front of his apartment. Oh, how convenient. Man, Kiwi sure was fast.

Lemon hopped off and turned back around to look at Kiwi one last time. Kiwi winked at him and gave him a smirk.

“We should do this again sometime. Call me.”

 _...Call him?_ Lemon couldn't even question Kiwi before he was gone in the blink of an eye. Huh. _How am I even supposed to-_

Lemon's thoughts were cut off by a glance of his arm. He had finally seen what Kiwi wrote on it.

_202-555-7171 hmu sometime soon ;) -K_

  
Oh. _Oh. Ohhhh. Oh my God._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've never actually heard of this ship, so it was a bit of a challenge. but it seems cute, and i think i did alright with it! thank you to Oreo for requesting!!

**Author's Note:**

> if you notice any errors or want to request a oneshot from me, sound off in the comments below! thanks for reading!


End file.
